Toiletries humor

What you are looking at is our drawer full of hotel-procured toiletries: shampoos, bath salts, soaps, sewing kits.  When we have overnight guests, I’ll go to this drawer and pick out a few items and set them in the guest bath, like a hotel does.  Because we’re nice!

My husband is partially-to-mostly to blame on this one.  Hubs is a pro at maximizing the volume of these things we take home with us, because he has a system: when we leave the hotel room in the morning for breakfast or whatever, he’ll hide the soap we just used in his suitcase wrapped in a washcloth.  Then when the cleaning staff pops by, they replace all the soaps,etc. and the washcloth.  Upon our return, he switches out the new and used soaps.  Simple, yet elegant.

Reminds me of this one time.  We frequent this one hotel, let’s just call it the Scooby Doo hotel. Well, one time the toilet in our room was acting weak — meaning you had to flush a couple of times to get a even a square of TP down it.  Well… how can I say this delicately… I had the fast poops right before we were set to check out.  I had a feeling to toilet couldn’t handle it, and indeed it did not.

We had to get back home to our baby, so, yes, I left a bowl full of diarrhea in the posh hotel that knows us by name.  Does the Scooby Doo have loose-lipped housekeepers?  Will this pretty horrible offense be part of our permanent record?  How skinny did I look that day?  All questions I cannot answer, except the last one, pretty skinny.  Hopefully that tip my husband left would have to do– what?  You forgot to tip extra for the poop in the toilet?  I’ll never show my face there again until at least 3 weeks!

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