Ah, my old Seventeen mags from the 80’s. The crazy eyebrows, the glove with the ring on top, the head bow that you usually only see on babies — this look unapologetically says, “Notice me” and “I’m not looking for a boyfriend” and “Step away, hobos!” all at the same time. I especially love that they thought teenage girls described clothes as “marvelous,” a word I would’ve only used when imitating that Billy Crystal character.
And remember when not being sluts was cool? I would say I love the message of abstinence on the cover, but 2 pages in, there’s this ad:
It says, “Nuance says yes. But you can always say no.” “Um… okay. You mean, say no to drugs, right?” my 13-year-old or so self says. And this gal’s wearing a negligee — like we all did as teen and tween girls. I mean, I had the pink underwear that said “I’m Baby Soft,” as in the Love’s perfume, but that was also creepy.
Back then, we wanted to be and look older — er, “sophisticated.” Get a load of these gals:
I imagine the casting call was “20 to look 45.” An unexpected surprise in this particular issue was this ad, for the Columbia Record N Tape club:
These were some of my picks, had I been brave enough to get in on this insane offer:
This is how I know my husband and I were meant to be together:
Here’s a weird ad for tampons:
I don’t remember them ever touching the tampon. I don’t know how much that sells it. Speaking of ads, here’s one…
… for your HOPE CHEST!
Makeup… fashion… articles about baskets… Seventeen has it all, girls.
Pack light, but don’t forget your granny panties!
I still want every single one of these shoes.
My 10 or so 80’s Seventeens. Should they stay or should they go?